Jiya Kohar Week 13: Shortest High Known to Man

                                          Image Citation

I am extremely grateful for some specific experiences. The Proustian memory effect describes the phenomenon where a smell suddenly brings back a vivid memory, even from years ago.

Words cannot describe the genuine awe I feel when I experience smell evoked memories. Crayons, old textbooks, cleaning products, closets, markers, old perfume are all things that can suddenly teleport me through years and dimensions. Unexpected memories that were completely forgotten suddenly get rejuvenated and flood my nervous system until I find myself trying to smell every last air particle in the room, only to relive the memory temporarily. Who knew that stepping into my backyard shed would actually transport me to my second grade school Christmas party?

However, it’s also a short term euphoria. It’s almost like this alien, mythical drug with the shortest high known to man. It springs up with no warning and forces you to momentarily travel back in time, only to bring you back just as fast. It’s so peculiar how a singular smell can result in memories being unlocked that you had forgotten. It feels strange that a part of my brain is just waiting for a small clue to latch onto and explode with my past.

It’s deeply frustrating too. Initially, I have this strong recollection of the memory, though seconds later it disappears. And, because the more you smell something the less potent it becomes, I’m usually forced to sit with this new world that’s fading by the second, until I’m left with a shell of a memory. It’s surreal how an aspect of your life can somehow catch you by surprise, even though YOU experienced those moments yourself.

Therefore, sometimes I grapple with the question of whether my childhood version counts as a different person than today (mentally/emotionally).

We all change exponentially, especially in our teenage years. If we grow so much in such a short time, then the person we once were can seem completely different. Though I obviously share much of my current self with my childhood self, there’s also major differences. The Proustian memory effect is a contributing factor to this thought. If it takes something external, like a smell, to unlock a memory of my younger self, then in a way it’s similar to being strangers. Strangers too have to rely on external cues, like communication, to become closer with each other. I feel like that also applies to this situation.

Inversely, it’s also such a beautiful thing. There’s something so special about being able to connect with your past and I think this can also prove how similar I am to myself across time. I am the only person in the world who can relive this specific memory because of this specific smell. To others, this smell means nothing, but to me it emanates emotions that transcend space and time. So, even if we’ve changed a lot, those memories prove we are still heavily connected. And, maybe, these memories are how I communicate with my younger self.